Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
