VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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