my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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