I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
