Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
