Banned from zoo.
Again?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
