No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
