I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
