She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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