I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
