Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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