glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
