I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
