hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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