bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
