I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We left the knife in your bed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
