I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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