that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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