forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
