Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
