My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
