I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
