Are we in a gay sports bar?
thus making me awesome and them whores
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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