Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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