there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
