My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
