It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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