My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
