My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
