Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
