3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Your penis caused this!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
