just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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