1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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