omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
