my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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