OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
