somebody snuck up and got me drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
