She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
