...so i touched it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
