Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
