I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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