Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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