Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
