i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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