Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
