i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
