i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
