Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
