I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
