i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
