You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
