doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He better not be in your backpack
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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