17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
